The Challenge of What I Do and Finding the People that I Seek

It has never been easy.

There has not been much about my journey that was easy. My childhood was relatively easy, as a gifted child who was an athlete, as a member of history’s most privileged demographic group: a white straight male American baby boomer who became a professional. Several times, I passed up the opportunity to make millions of dollars, as I walked my path. I have many rich friends (in the millions, sometimes many millions). I began that journey of turning away from riches to follow my heart when I graduated from college and moved to Seattle, to be closer to my family and hike in the great Pacific Northwest. On my fourth attempt to live in Seattle, that voice in my head led me straight into Dennis Lee’s company, and that was the end of my old life.

I have done what I could to present that journey, but it is like a soldier’s trying to tell his family what the battlefield was like. There is no earthly way to relate something like that, unless somebody had been there, and just reliving the memories to relate them is traumatic. That is why soldiers who had actually been on battlefields almost never talked about it, just like relatively few Holocaust survivors discussed their experiences. The reasons why I survived my experiences to write about them are that I was young and idealistic when I had them. I do not know of anybody else like me who is doing this.

We can get closer in ways, by having similar situations and then trying to bridge that gap in one’s imagination, but there will always be a chasm of experience to cross. For some, it is not too far to jump, but for others, it is impossibly far. All of my public writings are to help the people that I seek cross that chasm, or at least most of the way.

Several members of my pantheon had experiences that members of the public have difficulty believing, because they are so far beyond their cubicle-dwelling, Internet-surfing, TV-watching, Starbucks-drinking existences. When the public encounters accounts of such experiences, people often consider it entertainment, like another movie or TV show. I have been approached by Hollywood repeatedly, to make my story or the stories of those around me into some kind of TV show or movie. Not now, if ever. There is a steep price to pay to try that route, and even then, it can backfire. I have had people around me, whose efforts were about to be portrayed on TV, and they were excited, at least until the show aired. I witnessed their shock and dismay. The mainstream media will never fairly present work such as mine. If it is not a smear job, it will be so sensationalized as to be nearly unrecognizable, and having creative and editorial control over such works is anything but easy. I have seen many stories about that problem.

I have had many thousands of interactions on the issues that my work deals with, and it was a long process of trial and error, often life-risking and life-wrecking, to come to my current approach. In the end, the qualities that I seek are those that those in my pantheon generally have, which are:

1. They cared, with a bullet;

2. That had been awakened by their experiences, past at least some of their indoctrination and conditioning;

3. They were often highly intelligent, which is helpful for becoming scientifically literate, which understanding my work requires (and developing a comprehensive perspective demands, and keen discernment is part of it);

4. What I also found helpful, even critical, was that they had paranormal experiences that led to what I call a mystical awakening; Brian O’Leary thought that it was necessary for what I am doing, and he was probably right.

Caring leads to awakening, and those disillusioned idealists have long been my target audience. The people that check all of those boxes are one-in-thousands, and it does no good to judge the situation. It is just what it is, and I have seen mystical explanations for this, such as most souls come here to sleepwalk through their lives and learn through the fires of karma, as they have chosen to grow through pain instead of joy. In the end, my primary message is that it does not need to be painful. But I have largely been a voice in the wilderness, as my fellow travelers often were.

The Internet is a new tool with a global reach. As soon as I heard of it, I knew what its potential was, and I knew that I was in a race with the forces of censorship. It is going neck-and-neck these days, and the Internet has largely turned into a sewer. There are pockets of integrity and sentience, but they are few and far between, and they are usually under siege. So, I soldier on, seeking those who can learn to sing the song of abundance, as a way to help us get there. If a choir forms, the rest will be easy.