The Awakening Process

Sometimes it is delightful and enlightening, and sometimes people barely survive it.

I have briefly written at Substack about my process of awakening, and for the people that I seek, they all went through something similar, unless they were born fully awake, and I never encountered one of those. It is time to survey that process a little. Mine began at age 12, when my family changed its diet to whole food from processed food, to save my father’s health, which resulted in a health miracle. I remember looking at those pictures of clogged arteries, and the process could even begin in the womb. But I did not understand for many years that I was seeing an aspect of a racket. I did not begin to understand that until I read that the book that inspired our change was banned in the USA. But my life had already been ruined by my free-energy adventures, and I had also seen the medical racket in action, so the revelation was not that life-changing.

Understanding that processed food gave us the “diseases of civilization” was on one hand a positive revelation, but the negative one was that nobody wanted to hear about it, and I was ridiculed about my diet for many years. Soon after we changed, a middle-aged woman in our neighborhood was dying of heart disease. One of my parents talked to her, and her reply was that she did not want to hear anything about that “fresh crap.” She did not live much longer, as I recall. I eventually learned that that was the standard reaction, from people whose diets were killing them and they knew it. They also embraced medical treatments that hastened their demise, and they didn’t want to hear about alternatives. In the 1990s, one dying family member disowned me for trying to interest him in alternatives (after he said he was interested), and that was about the last time that I ever tried with anybody. Last year, I made an exception with my dying college roommate, and that conversation lasted less than ten seconds, as he made it clear that he did not want to hear about it, and he embraced certain death instead.

The social managers for the rackets really do not have to work that hard, not for the herd’s size. The public does nearly all of their work for them. This is one of the hardest lessons to learn for the newly awakened. I have watched free-energy newcomers rush out to tell their social circles about free energy, even after I had warned them against it, and I watched careers end. The social-circle approach will not work for this.

When I had my mystical awakening at the end of a meditation course when I was 16, it was an amazing, life-changing moment. Little did I know it, but I was ruined as a mainstream scientist before I ever began. Five years later, Brian O’Leary had the same experience while performing the same exercise, and it ruined his scientific career. He could no longer drink the materialist Kool-Aid that his colleagues guzzled.

When that voice in my head told me to study business, my idealism focused on that, and I went through eight years of idealism and disillusionment before I asked for that voice again, and it sent me on the wildest ride of my life. As I look back, the joke that my department head told the class, that accountants could make the numbers say whatever that they wanted them to, was the beginning of my cognitive dissonance. Two years later, I asked the question that everybody in my class laughed at, but it was the most important one of all, which nobody wanted to hear the real answer for: did our efforts benefit our society? Two years later, a partner at my firm basically confessed that our efforts didn’t, but it was another four years until I finally understood. A few weeks later, I had my moment of truth on the witness stand, when I finally saw the light and my life was never the same. From age 12 to 30, my life was a rollercoaster of idealism and disillusionment, until I finally understood. All of my study in the years since then has been the small stuff.

I was not there for Dennis Lee’s early journey that led to his moment of awakening in a bank lobby, but I imagine that it was a similar process, of idealism and gradual disillusionment, but under far harsher circumstances.

Another journey of awakening is documented quite well in Ralph McGehee’s book. From All-American football player to CIA case officer in the fight against communism, Ralph’s journey was another one of idealism that was slowly eroded during his journey, to his moment of truth in a Saigon hotel room. Like Dennis, Ralph nearly killed himself when he had his terrible moment of realization, on how deeply he had been lied to for his entire life, and how his hands were covered in the blood of the innocent. In my terrible moment, I wanted to kill the man who tried to intimidate me as I testified in Kangaroo Court. That was the lowest part of my journey, but I quickly overcame it, sacrificed my life, which led to the biggest miracle that I ever witnessed, which we knew was a case of divine intervention.

I do not recommend that anybody wake up how we did. There are gentler ways. But our idealism brought us to our moments of truth. Very few people awaken in a lifetime. In the CIA and Special Forces ranks, unless they are psychopaths, they do not kill people with a clean conscience. My close relative, who was a CIA contract agent that worked for Henry Kissinger, basically drank himself to death, and I doubt that he ever figured out what he was really involved with. In the halls of the CIA were case officers who figured it out to some degree, but were trapped in their careers. They became zombies at Langley, poured themselves into a bottle each night and counted the days to their early retirement. Ralph was one of only four CIA employees in the 20^th century who figured it out and wrote a book about it. For every Ralph there were a thousand zombies.

It was only after my awakening that I studied the media and learned that I attended a grade school named for a genocidist who was literally sainted, that the Father of Our Country was history’s most successful swindler, etc. There is quite a body of Western mythology that Westerners imbibe daily, and almost no Americans want to hear about anything that contradicts it, as it threatens their in-group conceits. I slowly came to understand that people everywhere are fed a bunch of largely false beliefs while young, which turns them into defenders of their societies. It is what social animals do. Nearly everybody clings to those ideologies to their graves, no matter what evidence might contradict them. I eventually saw mystical explanations that seemed to make sense, about how most souls on Earth have chosen to grow through pain instead of joy, to sleepwalk through their lifetimes and learn the hard way, through the fires of karma.

It is very possible that the mass of humanity wants to live in scarcity and fear instead of abundance and love. If so, then I came to the wrong planet or at the wrong time, or just maybe, I am here to help change some minds on what kind of world we can live in. I also eventually realized that until now, nobody ever saw the new Epoch coming, and that may explain the predominant denial and fear when free energy and abundance is even mentioned.

But for people who chased their ideals far enough, they were all eventually disillusioned, and they are my target audience. Disillusionment is part of the awakening process.